Butterflies
by beingmargoroth
Summary: Having been let down by everyone in her life, Quinn becomes a girl who had no fears and no weaknesses. That is, until Cooper Anderson walks back into her life and reminds her why it's okay to feel butterflies sometimes.  Coopinn
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Sometimes I make manips and sometimes those manips have headcanons behind them that become fics. Aka, this one - .com/post/20118998519.**

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><p>Quinn wasn't the one for attention anymore.<p>

Before, yes. With the long blonde hair and short cut cheerleading uniform, she'd lap it up as she strolled down the corridor, taking pleasure as students stopped and stared. Popularity and a good reputation had been the highest goal for her – and she'd gotten it, too. But over the summer, the pretty princess had changed into a pink-haired Skank, a girl who had no fears and could not give less fucks about what other people thought.

The transformation had been extreme, but even so. They didn't need to stare, did they? It wasn't like she'd grown a second head or lost a limb. All Quinn had done was cut her hair, dyed it pink, gotten a tattoo and taken up smoking. Not that it was any of their business. The world gave up that right when they let her down, time and time again, and then spat on her when she came out messed up and broken. So now they couldn't judge her on what she'd turned to, what she'd done to piece herself back together and mend her crushed spirit.

The only person who could do that was her. No one else.

Her parents had tried. God, how they had tried. The beginning of the summer, just after Nationals in New York, the house had been filled with shouting, screaming and the crying of her mother upon sight of the cascades of cut blonde hair on the bathroom floor. She'd fainted when Quinn had come home with pink hair. Since then, her mother hadn't spoken to her, leaving her father to talk to her. His voice was void of any warmth as he repeated the same thing; keep us out of it.

By that, she presumed he meant that she could do whatever the fuck she wanted – as long as the police didn't turn to her parents for answers. So the shoplifting and vandalism had to be done as swiftly and sneakily as possible, so no one caught on. Unfortunately, bunking off school was something she had to cross off her list.

So it was enough to be at school, sitting through boring lesson after lesson, without everyone staring at her as if she was some freak show. Quinn tried to ignore them but it was hard when that wasn't all they were doing. There were whispers behind hands, following her. Quinn sighed, staring at the back of her locker and counting to ten, hoping that would subside the irritation. It didn't, but a quick slam of her locker door helped.

The people around her jumped and, further down the corridor, Kurt and Blaine turned to look at her, Kurt frowning with disappointment while Blaine was just staring. Beside him, a man in a dark leather jacket and jeans was stood, frowning at their reactions. She saw Blaine say something to him before he turned to face her. It had been a while, but she still recognised the sleek dark hair and those eyes… those beautifully piercing blue eyes. The eyes that were currently one her as he came towards her. Blaine's brother. Cooper Anderson. _The_ Cooper Anderson she'd spent her childhood ogling whenever she had the chance.

Quinn knew what Cooper was thinking. He was thinking about the blonde girl who had been best friends with his brother and supported him throughout everything… He was thinking about the sweet girl who has giggled and blushed bright red whenever he'd catch her looking… He was thinking about the fourteen year old he'd slipped alcohol to at a family wedding and subsequently kissed when both of them were tipsy…

He was thinking she'd changed since the last time they'd seen each other.

"Wouldn't have known it was you, Lucy, unless Blaine said," Cooper stated, stopping in front of her.

"One, it's Quinn now," she began, pointing her finger at him harshly, "And two, don't even think about it."

"Think about what?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"It. Her. You. The past," Quinn reeled off. "It's all over, gone."

"Shame," Cooper murmured. "I quite liked it."

"Well, she didn't," Quinn growled before storming off.

But with every step, it took all her strength to fight the blissful memories of them and the butterflies they were wakening in her stomach.


	2. Chapter 2

Her run-in with Cooper Anderson shouldn't have rattled her.

But it did.

For the remainder of the day, all Quinn could think about was him. She didn't know why he was back, but on her way out of fifth period, she heard one of the Glee kids say something about a master class for them. Which made sense; she remembered that Cooper had left to be a big shot actor in Hollywood. She remembered _bitterly_. And bitterly she remembered through the course of the day, and long into the night, everything else.

Quinn remembered the first time she'd seen Cooper.

She had been thirteen and sat in the Anderson's front room. It was the first time she'd visited their house, even though Blaine and her had been friends for a while then. They'd met on the first day of middle school, having been put in the same form, but they hadn't spoken until the beginning of the seventh grade when Quinn had been paired with Blaine as lab partners. Neither had been popular so they'd stuck together, their friendship growing until they were inseparable.

They had a lot in common, fans of the same genres of movies, which was how Quinn had ended up in Blaine's lounge that boiling hot summers day. When the next Harry Potter book was released, they'd promised to read it together, so neither could spoil it for the other. Quinn had gotten hers first so she'd had to spend two agonising days staring at it on her bedside cabinet before Blaine had rung, proclaiming that he'd just gotten his copy of Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix and she needed to come over asap.

Eight hours later, as the sun melted away outside, Quinn and Blaine hadn't moved. He was laid across the sofa on his stomach, the book propped up against the arm of the chair. She was sat on the floor, her back pressed up against the sofa with her legs pulled up to her lap, the book set on her lap. Every now and then, one of them would reach a bit that made them squeal or giggle, making the other hit them; at one point, when Sirius died, they'd stopped reading for ten minutes while Blaine consoled Quinn. Since then, neither had made a noise and the house was silent, Blaine's parents away.

Suddenly, a car rumbled to a stop outside and, moments later, the front door creaked open before slamming shut. Neither looked up, intently reading, as footsteps thundered for a moment until a voice greeted loudly, "Hey, Grumpy. And… err, Goldilocks?"

They both looked up to find an eighteen year old leaning against the doorframe as he surveyed them. He was tall and topless, a red football shirt flung over his shoulders. Quinn bit her lip, not sure where to look. His chest muscles rippled, built up from what Quinn presumed (given what Blaine had said about his brother) years of playing football. His dark, damp hair was scarped back, over his head and his bright blue eyes twinkled as they locked on her, intrigued by this fresh person.

"Lucy, this is my brother, Cooper," Blaine introduced, not looking up from his book. "Cooper, this is my best friend, Lucy."

"Lucy, huh," echoed Cooper, thinking about this as he pushed off from the doorframe. "Well, I think Goldilocks suits you better."

Quinn blushed, too embarrassed to thank him for the compliment.

Seeing what he'd done, Cooper smirked as he asked, "Do you guys want something to eat? Mom left some money for pizza."

"Pepperoni," Blaine replied automatically.

"Yeah, I thought so," his brother said, moving across the room to the phone, before stopping to watch the blonde girl now sat opposite him. "What about you, Lucy?"

It took her a few moments to muster up enough voice to say, "I'll have pepperoni too, please."

Cooper smiled before leaning the room. Quinn watched him go, unable to take her eyes off of him. She was glad she was sat on the floor, as she wasn't sure meeting Cooper would have been a good thing if she'd been standing; her legs felt like jelly and her heart was pulsing. She'd met or known someone who could make her feel so giddy and nervous and happy and scared at the same time.

She'd heard from girls at school how it felt to fall in love. She hadn't believe them, of course. Love was love; it didn't make you feel every other emotion all at once. That was absurd. But now Quinn had met Cooper… well, she took back every word she'd said against those girls. They were right. Love was happiness and sadness, comfort and hurt, joy and tragedy all in one. She felt like she could burst from all of it. And it was all because of one person.

Cooper Anderson.


	3. Chapter 3

That summer became known as The Summer of Cooper Anderson.

Quinn spent a lot of her time at Blaine's house, or with him, so Cooper became a regular feature in her holiday too. There were rarely days when he was home, but she always stayed at the Anderson household long enough to witness the return of Cooper. Although he stayed out of the way of them, he did make the effort to stick his head around the door, say hey and ask if they wanted anything before disappearing – usually to shower, having spent the day playing football with his friends.

But there were days when he was home, and those were the days when staying late at Blaine's became important to her. Since their parents worked all day, Cooper took it upon himself to look after Blaine – and, therefore, Quinn. One day when she visited, he was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast for his brother. She'd arrived early because they'd planned to go to the library, but obviously Blaine had forgotten. At the sight of her on the doorstep, Cooper had swept her in and told her to grab some breakfast while he went and woke Grumpy.

Quinn still wasn't sure why he called Blaine that so, while they were sat waiting for him to shower, Quinn had swallowed her nerves and asked. At the question (and the break in the awful silence), Cooper grinned and lunched into an amusing anthology of tired Blaine – one of which involved Blaine cursing Cooper in front of their parents after being woken early to travel to the airport, which earned him a three month grounding and the nickname Grumpy.

She didn't know why she did it but, once he'd finished, Quinn told Cooper what her elder sister called her; Tweetie, because, when she was younger, she used to think she could communicate with the birds and spent all her time 'tweeting' to them. Across the breakfast table, Cooper choked on his orange juice and spat it onto his plate, before bursting out into infectious sniggering.

It made her day to know she'd made him laugh.

After that, their conversations grew in numbers so, by the end of the summer, Cooper was like a brother she'd never had. Of course, as they spent more time speaking, Quinn found herself falling more and more in love with him – something she hadn't thought was possible. In fact, as she spent more time at the Andersons, she began to feel like one of the family. They must have felt the same as, at the end of August, when they had to attend a family wedding out of state, Quinn was automatically invited to go with them.

Even now, five years later, Quinn remembers the wedding vividly.

Or not, as the truth was.

She remembered the two hour drive to Westerville, with Blaine on one side of her and Cooper on the other – separated, so they apparently wouldn't fight. Of course, their mom was completely naïve to the fact that Cooper can wind up Blaine no matter where he was; right beside him or across the country from him. So Quinn spent the entire journey trying not to laugh and hurt her best friends' feelings as his brother teased him constantly. That was the only thing she could so to stop herself thinking about how Cooper was sat right beside her… his leg touching hers… his arm pressed against hers.

The wedding was – well, it was a typical wedding, to her. Blaine's mom cried to see her sister or cousin or whoever it was finally getting married and Blaine's dad was left to soothe her – something he didn't look over sure about. Cooper kept whispering things to Quinn and Blaine during the ceremony, making them crack up during the most inappropriate times. In the pew in front, Mrs Anderson kept shooting them reproaching looks, so she must have been glad when they got to the evening reception.

While the rest of the guests spent the night dancing to the cheesiest music Quinn had ever heard, the three of them found a table in a corner that they stuck to like glue, only moving to get food and drinks or go to the toilet. Tired from the long day, they just sat and joked, often making up life stories about some of the guests. While Quinn and Blaine made up goofy but cute ones, Cooper went all out and made up some really gruesome ones, turning a portly man with a handlebar moustache into a paedophile who had killed his way to the party.

And that was before the alcohol.

Although Cooper wasn't twenty one, it wasn't long before he managed to "obtain" some booze for the adults, who were drunk enough to not care what they were doing. There was a twinkle in Cooper's eye as he returned with it, placing it on the table in front of them as if a challenge. Quinn had never drunk alcohol before, except watered down red wine at communion at church, so she bit her lip, thinking about it. It was only the egging on of Cooper, and the "I'll do it if you do it" look from Blaine that convinced Quinn to pick up the bottle, close the eyes and drink the bitter liquid.

"It'll taste better once you've had more," promised Cooper.

And he wasn't wrong.

Quinn lost count of the number of times Cooper got up, the number of bottles he brought back, the number of promises she made for that one to be the last. She couldn't remember anything except downing the bottles and giggling as the beer fizzled inside of her stomach and made her feel light and bubbly. It gave the world a smooth end, making everything seem okay – which must have been why she thought it was a good idea to sit on Cooper's lap.

To be fair, it hadn't been her idea. She'd gotten up to go to the toilet and someone had knocked her, sending her flying. But Cooper had reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist, anchoring her upright as her head span. He giggled and drew her in more, setting her down on his lap. And that's where she stayed for a long time, listening to him and giggling. She couldn't remember what he said, just that it his voice was the best thing she'd ever heard and his lips moving were hypnotising, only centimetres from her own.

Even to this day, Quinn didn't know who did it. Maybe it was both of them. Either way, the gap between them was closed and Cooper's lips ended up on Quinn's, soft and tender before pressing down firmly, kissing her keenly.

She was sure that she could have described it in a hundred different ways and still not have given it the justice it deserved. It was her first kiss and the boy who gave it to her wasn't just someone who wouldn't know her name the next day. It was Cooper, someone who still knew her name after five years apart.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**** This chapter doesn't contain any Coopinn per say; it's kind of a filler, to get to Chapter 5.**

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><p>Whatever Quinn's thirteen year old mind thought would happen, it wasn't anything like what did.<p>

As they slipped into September, Quinn and Blaine spent their time preparing for their last year at Belleville Middle School, while Cooper fought with his parents over college. While he'd gotten a football scholarship to go to Radford, Cooper didn't sound like he wanted to go. The arguments got so bad, Blaine spent a lot of his free time at Quinn's – even though they'd still be talking and cursing the arguments no matter where they were. Looking back, it was clear to her that Blaine was doing it simply to distract attention but it wasn't then.

They were split up at Belleville that year, forced to go to different class to the other, so the only time they could really hang out was during form or lunch. However, they never really spoke about anything but the sheer amount of homework they'd been given then. They kept going like this, talking about everything but what they should have been until the beginning of October, when Blaine turned up on her doorstep one evening out of the blue.

"We're best friends, right?" he asked, his eyes glued to hers, wanting to every little thought that passed through her mind and flickered across her eyes. "And nothing will change that?"

Quinn swallowed, worried, her eyes on his. "Blaine, what's wrong?"

He let out a shaky breath before it all came out in a rush. It took him a couple of times to get it out without the words sounding like gibberish. I'm gay. He must have seen a flicker in Quinn's eyes as he didn't speak afterwards, waiting for her reaction. But she didn't really have one. At some point in her mind, it must have clicked that Blaine had never had asked her about girls or gushed over a girl he'd liked. Of course, that hadn't meant anything but she knew that Blaine would talk to her about anything. They were best friends. And that wasn't going to change just because of his sexuality.

Even so, after that night of truths, when Blaine told Quinn everything, they never brought it up again. They didn't need to, and so life went on as normal. Their conversation centred on books, homework and how Cooper was still upset he was at Radford. Until the Sadie Hawkins Dance fever spread the school. As soon as it turned November, that was all anyone was talking about. Quinn couldn't care less about the dance, as her Grandmother was visiting and wouldn't be able to go. This left Blaine in an awkward position; as girls were supposed to ask the boys, Blaine would have automatically gone with Quinn. So now he had to wait for someone to ask him or –

"I think I'm going to ask him," Blaine announced.

Quinn turned to see him as she shut her locker. Instead of looking at her, Blaine was leant against the lockers beside her, staring down the hall at Will Grayson, the only 'out' kid at school. Quinn watched as he shut his locker and moved off, towards them. Blaine's eyes followed him, turning to face Quinn as he passed them, simply so he could keep staring at him over her shoulder.

She grinned; lovesick Blaine was adorable. "If you want to, then you should," she told him, adding, "But you do realise what that means, don't you?"

Blaine finally flicked his gaze to her and, swallowing nervously, nodded. He hadn't even told his parents or Cooper yet, so to out himself to the entire school by asking Will was a big step. But he did it; the next time Quinn saw Blaine, he was bursting with excitement and spent the rest of lunch gushing about it to her. After that, Will was a regular feature to their group – which was fine with Quinn, as they shared a lot of the same interests, but not okay with the rest of the student body.

That's why the Sadie Hawkins Dance was such a disaster.


	5. Chapter 5

The morning after the dance, Quinn was woken by vigorous shaking from her mother at three am. She was groggy and still half asleep. Nothing made sense as her mom began talking, noises that sounded like gobbledegook to her. But three words filtered through and woke her up.

_Blaine. Attack. Hospital._

Quinn was out of bed and pulling on clothes in a flash, her mind rushing through thought after frantic thought of what had happened, how it had happened and why it had happened. When she'd seen Blaine off, having helped him get ready, he'd been all smiles and excitement. It was his first dance as himself… and this had happened? She shivered, pulling her coat tight – even though the quiver had nothing to do with the cold – before bolting out of her father's car without so much as a goodbye.

It took a while for the woman on the front desk to give her the ward name Blaine was on; in the end, Quinn had to pretend she was a relative so she could get the information. Her mind wasn't thinking straight and, as soon as she had what she wanted, she bolted. In a hurry to get to her best friend, she ignored the stairs and headed straight for the elevator, pushing the call button repeatedly.

Just as she went to push it a tenth time, a hand caught her wrist as a familiar voice told her, "Calm down."

"You calm down," she snapped in reply, wrenching her hand free and turning to find a tousled Cooper behind her. "Oh."

Cooper opened his mouth to say something but, before he could get the words out, the elevator opened with a pop, distracting both of them. Their minds were instantly back on the battered boy upstairs and they dashed forwards into the elevator. Quinn was already pressing the floor number before Cooper was even inside. The doors shut behind him with a sound of finality, and immediately the metal box was flying downwards before ascending up.

They stood on opposite sides of the elevator, neither of them talking as they waited for the doors to open. Quinn sighed, leaning back against the wall and tapped her fingers on the metal, needing something to do to stop her mind wandering. But she couldn't stop thinking about how happy Blaine had been when he'd left, and how that must have changed in a matter of hours. Hours she'd spent completely oblivious to what was going on, sat at home with her stupid family.

Suddenly, the elevator jolted to a stop, sending Quinn flying out of her thoughts and staggering forwards. Opposite, the same happened to Cooper and they met in the middle. His arms flew out to grasp her elbows, to steady them both, just as the elevator stilled. It took them a moment to get their head around everything – what had happened, where they were and who they were with – before Quinn rushed to the panel and began pressing buttons.

"No," she muttered, repeatedly pushing the button for level 5. "No, this can't happen!"

"Relax," Cooper said, leaning past her to press the emergency button.

Quinn blinked, amazed that he was being so calm. She watched as he retreated back to where he'd been stood, sitting down with his back against the metal wall and pulling his legs up to his chest. Once settled, his eyes flooded to her, tilting his head as if to ask what the problem was. Groaning, Quinn decided it just go along with him and, taking a deep breath, stepped away from the button panel. Instead, she took up pacing, which seemed to irritate Cooper just as much.

"Stop," he told her, breaking the silence that had settled.

She shook her head. "But – "

"_Lucy_," he begged and _that_ made her stop.

She turned to look at him, sat on the floor with his arms resting across his knees.

Cooper's eyes were on her, watching her carefully as he said softly, "We're going to be here for a while."

"But – "

He pulled a face. "There's nothing we can do but sit tight."

Knowing he was right, Quinn sighed and positioned herself on the floor, cross-legged.

"So," Cooper declared, not wanting a silence to freeze up around them while they waited.

"So," she replied, leaning back against the wall.

Cooper rolled his eyes as he dropped his legs. "Missed me?"

Quinn choked, not sure whether to laugh or cry. "Cooper," she reprimanded, shaking her head with disbelief, using her lose hair cover the smile on her face. "Blaine's upstairs in a really bad state and you're – "

"I know," he replied, crossing his arms and shrugging. "But we might as well talk about… I don't know, _other stuff_ while we wait. There's no use worrying about him while we're stuck here. We'll only get ourselves in a state."

"I guess," she admitted, sighing.

"So," Cooper began again. "Have you missed me?"

Her mind wasn't thinking straight, preoccupied, so the truth slipped out. "Yes."

Opposite her, he sat up, intrigued and surprised. "You did?"

"Yeah. I don't usually kiss someone and then not care about them afterwards."

"So you kissed me?" Cooper mused, and Quinn saw a smirk on his face when she looked up. "I mean, I've been wondering which one of us made the move."

"I think it was a joint effort."

"Which part did I play?" he asked. "Plying you with beer or settling you on my lap?"

Quinn snorted. "I was thinking we met half way, but you did those too."

"Yeah… that was a good party," Cooper mused with a grin. "I'm surprised you remember."

"Only bits," she corrected.

"Really?" he replied, sitting forwards. "So you remember what you said?"

"No," Quinn answered, feeling herself already starting to blush, imaging what she could have said.

"Interesting…"

"What did I say?" she asked, biting the bullet.

Cooper's grin grew, if that was at all possible, as he informed, "You admitted to having loved me for a long time."

"Oh, God."

He titled his head, smirking now. "You don't deny it?"

Quinn debated admitting it in her head, seeing as she already had apparently. But she'd been drunk then, and couldn't be held accountable for anything she'd said or done. Now, she was very sober and very aware they'd both remember this time. So, instead of saying yes or no, she said nothing.

Realising what she was doing, Cooper rolled his eyes and began crawling towards her. Quinn watched, surprised by how little he'd changed. In her mind, she'd expected college to make him different, to make him become someone nearly unrecognisable. But Cooper still had that goofy grin, those sparkling blue eyes and lips she never wanted to stop kissing.

In fact, she only did stop kissing him when the elevator doors were yanked open. They both turned, eyes wide and heart beats racing, to see a maintenance man stood in the doorway, his hands on the hips of his oily blue overall. Behind him was a bed with a patient on, surrounded by a doctor and others.

"Sorry to interrupt," the maintenance man said cheerily, smirking. "Only we need this lovebox to transport patients to theatre now."

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course," Cooper said, backing up and getting to his feet while Quinn did the same, brushing herself down afterwards. "Sorry."

Quinn felt herself blush as she met the man's gaze. She lowered her own so it was on her feet as they exited the elevator.

Once in the corridor, out the way of the other people, Cooper reached out and grabbed her hand, saying quietly, "Don't let go."

Understanding how terrified he was, not sure what to expect when they found Blaine, she nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

Nothing could have prepared them for the state Blaine was in.

Quinn was pretty sure that, without Cooper's hand in hers, she would have fled the room at the sight of the wires and tubes. In fact, she did try, but Cooper was already firmly behind her, ushering her into the room and down into the seat by the bed. Blaine's parents had left the room for a moment. Mr Anderson had said to get a drink and some food, but Quinn knew it was because Mrs Anderson had run out of tissues. The box by the bed was empty, so Quinn had to make do with using the sleeve of her jumper.

Neither of them spoke for a while, the room filed with the regular beeps of the cardiac monitor. Quinn found herself following the wires, before feeling lightheaded and sick. She closed her eyes and forced herself to take deep breaths. Her mind was full of haunting images of what might have happened and she tried to push them away. She already knew what had happened. It was obvious.

"I don't get it," Cooper said quietly from where he was sat on the arm of her chair.

Quinn opened her eyes and found him staring at his brother, his forehead creased into a frown.

"Why would anyone want to beat him up?"

It hit her like a ton of bricks when she realised, "Blaine… he never told you?"

The lines on Cooper's head deepened with confusion as he turned to her. "Told me what?"

Quinn bit her lips, feeling like it wasn't her right to say but knowing she had to. "Blaine's gay, Cooper. He came out to me a few months ago, and he came out to your parents a few weeks ago. He was coming out to everyone else tonight."

"At the dance?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, adding, "He asked someone who was out to go with him."

Cooper was silent for a moment, taking it all in, before he asked, "How come no one told me?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "Perhaps Blaine thought he didn't need to."

"I guess…" he sighed, letting silence fall for a moment before saying, "You're a good friend to Blaine, Lucy."

"He's all I've got," Quinn admitted quietly, turning back to his battered body. "He won't be going back to Belleville, will he?"

Cooper shook his head. "No. But you'll look out for you."

She turned her head and frowned at him. "How?"

"If I heard about anyone saying shit about my Goldilocks, I'll smack them down."

Quinn smiled softly. "Thanks."

Cooper smiled back, licking hips nervously before saying, "I really do care about you, Luce, y'know that?"

As much as Quinn had been dying to hear this, now wasn't the right time. "Coop – "

"I've seen friendships grow apart because of different schools," he went on, regardless, "so I know that the chances of you losing touch with Blaine are insane. But I don't want to lose touch with you."

But somewhere along the lines, Cooper had.

Quinn couldn't remember when exactly. But somewhere between Blaine's transfer to Dalton and her own to McKinley High School, Cooper stopped picking up his phone, answering his mail and deleted his facebook. At first, she was heartbroken. During his breaks, they were inseparable. And then, suddenly, he was gone – nothing but a memory to her. She never found out why, but in the end, she decided not to care.

By then, she wasn't the same kid who'd fallen head over heels in love with her best friend's elder brother. High school changed her. Not just once, but repeatedly, over and over again, until she didn't recognise herself – until she didn't want to recognise herself. But Cooper had, five years after disappearing into thin air. He still saw the blonde haired, shy little girl who'd blush every time he walked into the room. It was a long time since Quinn had been her.

But the familiar butterflies he gave her suggested that maybe, somewhere, that little girl was still alive in her.

And that scared her more than anything.


	7. Chapter 7

Quinn tried to do what she had done when he'd left: continue with her life like normal.

The problem was, Cooper was everywhere.

Well, everywhere at school. And that was the only place she went nowadays.

It was hard for her to ignore him when he was around. Cooper had always had that ability, to make people stop and stare no matter what he was doing. Presence, that's it. Apparently, Quinn used to have that to, when she stopped being a shy book lover and made herself one of them. It was the best and worst thing she'd ever done. At the time, the attention had been everything. Now, it was a nuisance.

Eyes continued to follow her around the school, whispers accompanying them, and a pair of them was Cooper's. His role as whatever he was to the glee club – Quinn didn't care what it was – meant that he was hovering around most days, often walking with Mr Schue. As they passed in the corridor, their eyes would meet and Quinn would do everything in her power to look away. But she couldn't.

It got so bad that, after school three days after Cooper had turned up, Quinn found herself stepping into the Lima Bean. It was a requirement of the Cheerios not to drink coffee so she'd given it up a few years ago. Not once had she had one, too used to not having the drink in her life. But Cooper's reappearance was irritating her so much, she needed one.

"Espresso?"

"Mine," she said, reaching out and snatching the hot foam cup out of the waitress' hand, not at all apologetic for her mood; until she'd stepped in the shop and smelt the coffee, she hadn't realised just how badly she needed one.

"…pick up line I have ever heard."

Quinn winced, accidentally crushing the sugar sachet in her hand at the sound of the voice. His voice.

Okay, she thought quickly, Don't panic. I can easily get out of here without scolding myself in a rush or being spotted. The door is just over there. All I have to do is keep my head down and avoid eye contact. Okay… 3, 2, 1…

She was half way to the door when Cooper's voice called out, "Quinn! Hey, Quinn!"

Quinn gritted her teeth, hating that she'd been spotted and what this meant she now had to do as she slowly turned to face Cooper. He was sat with Blaine and Kurt, who were both eyeing her with upturned noses. She didn't blame them, and understood their need to ignore her. In the past few weeks, she'd treated a lot of people like dirt – especially her so-called friends in Glee club. They hadn't understood, and had taken to ignoring her whenever they could. But Cooper had made a vow to never leave her alone, which repelled Blaine and Kurt's desire.

"Come and sit with us!" Cooper called, already pulling out the seat between him and Blaine.

Feeling trapped, Quinn forced herself to walk over to the table, putting her cup tentatively on the table as she carefully sat down, avoiding everyone's eyes.

"We were just talking about how Blaine and Kurt met," Cooper went on, oblivious to the tension.

Quinn hadn't heard this story and, if she was honest, she really wanted to. After all, it wasn't every day your ex-best friend got up the courage to openly date another guy after the last time he did ended in him being hospitalised for a fortnight and then shipped off to boarding school. But the Quinn she was supposed to be didn't care about anything, so she just shrugged.

"It's not that interesting," Kurt remarked quietly, taking a sip of his drink, before checking the time on his phone. "Oh, it's ten to. We better head to the cinema if we want to catch that film."

Cooper nodded as they stood, gathering their stuff. "Sure. I'll see you later."

"Bye," they called, leaving hand in hand, not looking back.

Once the door had shut firmly behind them, Quinn released the breath she'd apparently been holding. "Well," she began, standing. "This was super fun but – "

"Oh, no, you don't," he replied, reaching out and grasping her wrist, trying to tug her gently back into her seat. "We need to talk."

"No, we really don't."

"Really? So you know why I disappeared?"

Quinn's head snapped to look at him, not believing what he'd said; it felt like an unspoken agreement between them that what happened wouldn't be brought back up, even to fill in blanks like this. But Cooper was watching her, waiting for her reaction, and the twinkle in his eye assured her he wasn't lying – if she stayed, he would tell her. Quinn groaned, grimacing before sitting down. She wanted to know why he'd gone – she'd wanted to know for years. And now she had the chance…

"Okay, you tell me everything, Cooper," she ordered him, pointing her finger at him as she curled her other hand around her foam cup, "or I will walk out of here so fast."

"Relax," he assured, picking up his own cup. "I've got no reason for you not to know now. In the beginning, it was... It wasn't because I didn't want to tell you - I just felt my parents would know I'd told you and bug you until you had to tell them."

Quinn frowned, already engrossed in the story and forgetting her 'I couldn't care less' act. "Cooper, what did you _do_?"

He smiled fondly, biting his lip as he looked down at the table, using a finger to play with some wasted sugar as he admitted, "I don't know if you remember but, I was really - and I mean really - reluctant to go to Radford. Well, I didn't want to play football all my life. I didn't want to play it in the beginning professionally; I only went along with it because it made my dad so happy. What I really wanted to do - what I fought with them to do instead, was acting."

"So why did you play football instead?"

Cooper shrugged. "Because I was sick of fighting. But then... Then Blaine got beaten up for being doing what he wanted - for taking a boy he loved to a school dance - and... I felt like a joke. He'd done something so bold while I'd given in, conformed. I was tempted to just do it then, but you needed me so I stayed at Radford, which was - well, not close enough, but still close."

"And then?" she asked, having half guessed the answer already.

"And then ... I don't know. Everything began piling up on me and I just... I didn't feel putting up with it all to please my dad was worth it. So I took off. I packed my bag and headed to Hollywood. I knew my parents would be pissed, so I made sure they couldn't contact me. I deleted my facebook, I changed my cell number... They knew where I'd gone, and why, but they had no way of tracking me. After all, neither you nor Blaine knew. So they let me go and... Yeah."

"So you didn't tell me because you didn't think I'd be able to keep the truth from your parents?" she summed up, laughing bitterly. "Cooper, at that point, I hadn't spoken to Blaine in months and your parents probably wouldn't remember my name."

"You'd be surprise," he told her, taking a sip of his coffee. "They remembered my name when I stepped through the door again."

Quinn snorted. "Well, who wouldn't remember the gorgeous face from the free credit rating today advert?"

Cooper smirked, cocking an eyebrow. "You think my face is gorgeous, huh?"

She shook her head, looking down in an attempt to hide her smile. "If you hear things enough, you start to believe them - and that's all I've heard from the glee girls lately."

Cooper was silent for a while, watching her carefully, before tell her softly, "Those glee girls talk about you a lot too, y'know."

Quinn's head snapped up, surprised. "They do?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Before every meeting, I walk in and find them talking about how much of a jackass you are now and how much they miss the old Quinn, even if she was terrible unhappy."

She took a deep breath, understand what he was really saying, before shaking her head. "I'm not going to tell you what happened, y'know. I changed because I wanted to forget."

"Hate to break it to you, beautiful, but you can't forget by changing. Just like you can't fix it by running away. What happened to you in the past is always going to be a part of you, and it's always going to affect what you do in the future. You learn from mistakes, Quinn. That's why I'm back and my hand is still on yours."

She swallowed and looked down, surprised to find that he was right; his fingers were still wrapped around her wrist. But the reason was less for enforcement and more affection now. His fingertips were gentle against her skin as they brushed her hand as she watched, already fascinated. She used to love watching Cooper move. He was also graceful, even when doing the most ungraceful things.

Cooper leant towards her, moving so his face was close to hers and she could feel his warm breath on her face as he said quickly, "I lost you once and I'm not going to let it happen again. I want - "

Before Quinn fully understood what she was doing, she was shaking her head feverishly, tugging his hand off her wrist and jumping to her feet. "No," she told him quietly, not wanting to make too much of a scene. "No, you can't - I - After everything that's happened to me since you left, I've finally... I'm finally in a good place and I'm happy or at least content and - "

"You're not," he cut in, getting to his feet too. "You can't lie to me, Quinn. I know you better than anyone. What you are is not happy or even content. You're broken and - "

"That doesn't mean I need you!" she screamed, unable to stop herself. "I don't need anyone!"

And without a second thought, Quinn turned, knocking over her cold coffee cup, and stormed from the shop before anyone could spot the tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn't even turn and catch the look of complete melancholy on Cooper's face.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So there will officially be two more chapters after this, one of which will be a kind of epilogue. And since I want it to be finished by the time Glee starts again on Tuesday, prepare for another update later today :) Also, thanks for all your reviews so far. They're lovely :3 Hopefully this chapter answers a question I had about Quinn's hair from Lexi. Enjoy!**

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><p>The tears didn't stop, even when she burrowed herself deep in a cocoon of blankets on her bed. Quinn didn't know how long she stayed there, protecting herself from the world. But, deep down, she knew staying there wasn't helping. Cooper was right. She was already broken. Long before the backstabbing, the dumpings, and the pregnancy - she was broken when Cooper just left.<p>

But now he was back.

Quinn couldn't remember how she did it, exactly; how she snuck out of the house late at night, how she managed to drive through her still0flowing tears, how she remembered where they lived. She just remembered pulling up in the Anderson's driveway, collecting stones from the gravelled path before throwing them up at Cooper's window. Tap. Tap. Tap. He was always a deep sleeper, so she wasn't surprised when it took ten stones to wake him. He appeared at the window frowning as he yawned and stretched, rubbing the back of his head as he did. At the sight of her, wearing her pyjamas and tear stains, his expression changed. His eyes widened and he gestured to the front door beneath.

She nodded to show she understood and Cooper was gone, reappearing a matter of seconds later at the door, holding it open for her. He pressed his finger to his lips, telling her they had to be quiet, as he shut the door, before taking her hand in his and leading her to his room. Quinn knew she should be terrified but, really, she didn't care. She was too broken to care about who or what she was doing. And that was the problem.

"You're an ass and I hate you," she blurted as soon as they were shut inside his room.

Cooper raised his eyebrows as he sat down on his bed, not saying a word.

Quinn sighed, crossing her arms - something she did when she was nervous or scared - before gathering the courage to meet Cooper's beautiful blue eyes. "Kurt told you everything, didn't he?"

He shrugged. "Pretty much. I wouldn't mind hearing it from you, though."

She shook her head. "No. You don't... stuff happened, okay?" she concealed with a sigh. "You left and I was broken hearted, so I tried to fix myself by literally fixing myself; I joined the cheerios and became captain and started dating the captain of the football team like the movies say. It sucked but people noticed and - well, I thought I was liked but when you fuck up, you find out who your real friends are. And I fucked up and everyone left except the glee kids and they helped me rebuild my life. Only they couldn't because you were still missing so I began dating guys just to see if they'd fill the hole you made. But, instead, they made things worse."

"I get all that," admitted Cooper, watching as she collapsed on the bed beside him, "but why the new look?"

Quinn couldn't hold back a sob now as she remembered, "I felt like no one was noticing me. That no one cared about me, that no one loved me. I felt... invisible. And I didn't like it. I didn't want to be one of the crowd, a stereotype."

"But why the hair?" Cooper whined, lifting his hand to tuck a stand behind her ear.

"I was going to... to do it," she went on, eyes closed as she tried to focus on breathing. "But I felt like dying wouldn't even make a big enough impact. So I decided to... to make people notice. I cut my precious blonde hair and dyed it pink. No one writes about pink haired girls and what their fate was. So I could just be me and be noticed for it. I pretended I didn't but I wanted the attention. I need it, to know I was being noticed and that, even for a moment, people cared about me again."

"Oh, you silly girl," he murmured, moving closer so he could place his hands on her cheek and wipe away the fresh tears with his thumbs. "I never stopped caring. I cared too much, if that's possible. I still do."

Quinn sniffed and there was silence for a moment as she soaked in the honesty of his works. Cooper had said something similar back at The Lima Bean. But the quiet tone of his voice, even though it was due to his sleeping parents and younger brother, added something to his proclamation... It let the desperateness of his love seep through the cracks so she could see it.

honestly, though, as soon as she'd set eyes on Cooper again, she'd known he still loved her. And the butterflies in her stomach, fluttering up a storm, told her she felt the same. Right now, they were beating around with such velocity, urging her to lean forwards until Quinn had pressed her lips to Cooper's. The kiss was soft and chaste, testing. It could of gone further but there were still things Quinn hadn't said that she wanted to, so she pulled back, making Cooper whimper before flicking open his eyes.

"Will you do it for me?" she whispered and he frowned. "Will you dye my hair blonde again?"

Cooper blinked in surprised. "I thought you liked the pink?"

"Yes, but you don't."

He smiled softly, his fingers tangling and twisting themselves in her hair. "True, I miss my Goldilocks but I'll take you and your hair any way you want to come - as Quinn, or Lucy, or whoever. I just want you."

She smiled softly. "I know but... I want to be the blonde girl who has friends in the glee club that care about her again."

"If that's what you want," Cooper told her, "then of course I'll help."


	9. Chapter 9

Going to school on Monday was the most nerve-racking thing Quinn thought she'd ever done.

She arrived late, her hair tucked into a hat so no one saw it. Half of her was upset because she had grown fond of the pink hair. But if felt good to be back to her blonde roots, so a smile slipped onto her face as she tugged the black hat off her head in the loo after school. She'd changed just before, swapping the Skank clothes she'd been wearing all day with the familiar pale dress and cardigan combo of Quinn Fabray. Something about the new outfit was familiar and instantly altered her mood, giving her the courage to leave the bathroom and head to the choir room.

Quinn stopped outside the door, peeping in the window. Walking away had been hard, but walking back was harder. Walking away meant that she could leave them behind (even though it hurt) and not have to explain. Walking back meant she had to face what she'd done and explain why. Quinn wasn't sure what she was going to tell them, because Cooper was the only one she really trusted with the truth.

She saw him, dancing around with Blaine, singing. He'd sung on that stupid advert of his and Quinn hadn't been able to get the song out of her head for weeks. She could have listening to his voice forever, but the song in the choir room came to an end and instead the room was filled with cheering. Quinn saw Mr Schue get to his feet and move to congratulate the brothers, and she took a deep breath. She couldn't wait outside all day; that wouldn't achieve anything. Swallowing her fear, pushing down the fluttering butterflies in her stomach, Quinn pushed the door and awkwardly entered the room.

At the sight of her, the whole room fell silent. Eyes flew to her and she bit her lip, trying to remember how to breathe. Their faces were a mixture of responses, but the vast majority had wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Obviously they'd gotten used to the pink haired bitch that roamed the school corridors and lost hope that the Quinn they knew would surface again. But Cooper… Cooper was smiling softly, assuring her she could do it. Taking another deep breath, Quinn stepped further into her rom and tried to think of something to say, to break the silence.

In the end, the only thing she could think of was a timid "Hi."

"Quinn!" said Mr Schue, coming to her, a beam on his face. "It's great to see you!"

All she could think to do was force a smile onto her face as a reply.

"Don't you think you've got some explain and apologising to do?" asked Rachel bitterly, crossing her arms and shooting her a death glares.

Quinn took a deep breath and sighed, swallowing before admitting, "I know I was a bitch but... I was stupid and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt any of you. I was just… I was just hurting too much to notice I was being self-destructive and hurting the people around me. But now… Now I realise what I did and I'm sorry. I'm trying to… I'm trying to sort my life out – get rid of all the bad things and cherish the good things. But I chucked away the good thing I had with the glee club and I miss it. I miss it a lot."

"And we missed _you_, Blondie," replied Mercedes, grinning as she came down to wrap her arms around Quinn.

The act took Quinn by surprise and at first, she stood awkwardly in the other girls arms. Then, slowly, she reached out and hugged Mercedes back, trying to ignore the butterflies still fluttering in her stomach. But as nervous as she still was, Quinn felt better than she had for months as the rest of the group came and greeted her with smiles and hugs. There was something comforting about being around the people who'd seen her through a pregnancy and the terrible aftermath of giving up a child. They'd seen her at her worse and not only put up with it but cared about it. They'd taken her in when she had no one. They'd made her smile when her world was gloomy.

They were her friends, and they wanted her back in their lives.

And, butterflies or not, she was going be in their lives.


	10. Chapter 10

Cooper's master classes for Glee Club finished a week after Quinn's return.

They were sorry to see him go. Nothing against Mr Schue, but it was nice to have someone else in once and a while to shake up their routine. During that time, Quinn would always find herself trailing behind after rehearsals, just to speak to Cooper alone. Most of her time afterschool was spent between making up for lost time with Mercedes and the other girls, and just being with Cooper.

With him, she'd also found that she could sit in silence, studying or reading or just lying on his bed, and not have a need to talk to him. They were comfortable to just be together and not talk. Of course, the silence was nearly always broken by little whimpers or moans when Cooper couldn't resist pressing his mouth to hers. More than often, they were sweet, soft kisses but, as the weeks slipped by, Quinn noticed the increase in needy, desperate sucking of lips. Given her past, she had a feeling she knew where it could lead. But that wasn't what made her pull away.

"Cooper," she reproached, pouting.

He smirked, leaning in to press one last kiss to her puckered lips. "Is there a problem?"

"You're the problem," Quinn told him, turning back to her book. "As always."

"Studying?"

Quinn rolled her eyes as she looked up again to find him wriggling closer to her on the bed. "Pretty sure I told you repeatedly before you came over that I need to keep my GPAs up if I want to get into Yale."

"Hmmmm," was all Cooper replied, his hands sneaking around to rest across her back so his hand could tuck into the waistband of her skirt.

"Cooper! My parents are downstairs," she hissed, shifting away on the narrow bed.

"So? I closed the door."

To escape his still wandering hands, Quinn slipped off of the bed and stood over him, crossing her arms. "Cooper."

He pouted, but didn't move to protest. Instead, he sat up with a sigh. "I've been thinking about that, actually."

"About what?"

"Yale," he reminded, swinging himself around so he was sat cross-legged on her bed. "LA is over two thousand miles away. That's too far."

Quinn pulled a face, sitting beside him and slipping her hand into his. She watched as he laced their fingers together as she said, "But that's how it's going to be. I'm going to Yale and you're going to live in LA. With over two thousand miles between us. Again."

"But that's the thing... I don't have to be in LA anymore," Cooper pointed out, lifting his gaze to meet hers. "I went to LA because I thought it was the best place for me. And it was. But now... Now, New York is looking good."

Quinn stared at him, disbelieving. "No... No way. You're not - "

"Maybe," he corrected, shrugging. "I don't see why not. LA isn't exactly the sunny Heaven I'd imagined."

"Not because of me. I won't let you move because of me," she told him.

Cooper laughed. "Oh, Quinnie. Not just because of you. New York's closer to Lima than LA, and I've sworn to keep in contract with my parents - I owe them that, after everything. But you are the main reason. New Haven will be less than a hundred miles away. It's a considerable distance."

"You..." she began, not sure what to say.

Quinn had known Cooper was leaving soon; she didn't expect him to stick around in Lima until she graduated and moved off, letting him go too. But she'd expected him to return to his life in LA, across the country to her. She'd expected it and begun preparing himself for it. She didn't know what to think, how to feel, about knowing Cooper would be closer, nearer, but still so far away until September.

If she was honest, Quinn was hoping for September to come quickly. Although she'd made an amends with her friends and sorted her life out, putting it back on track, she wanted to be rid of the horrid high school memories and get away to a new place, where no one knew her name or her history. At Yale, she could be Quinn Fabray without people commenting on her pregnancy, or her mess-ups.

And yet, whenever she thought about what was coming, about graduation and Yale, that familiar sensation of butterflies hit her like a force field. She was scared; scared of getting away, scared of the freedom and scared of the chances. The whole world was opening up in front of her, and it was both amazing and terrifying at the same time. But there was one thing she was sure of now, and that was being scared was not something to worry about. It was a natural reaction and everyone felt it once in a while. It was a good feeling, because it meant something - or, as it had been for Cooper, someone - was coming that could potentially tip her world upside down and change it for the better.

The only problem Quinn had now was that nothing and no one could make her world as glorious as Cooper had.

But even so, she wasn't going to hide from the butterflies anymore.


End file.
